* Let’s love unconditionally. Love is not about how much you have, how beautiful you look today
* But how much you cherish each other’s company
By Chifipa Mhango, economist & pyschologist by training
I want to talk to most of my childhood friends — as boys then we had admiration for our classmates. As young as we were, we used to think that any woman that you love or like is your wife.
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So we developed this thinking called my pointed wife or girlfriend….in Chichewa was ‘Mkazi wanga Oloza’. So, you like the girl as young as 8 years but you don’t tell her your feelings because you abide to moral values and fear of rejection or school rules punishment like it was in Malawi then.
So, you keep your admiration to the girl or boy to yourself or close friends. So it was about my boyfriend or girlfriend ‘Oloza’ — in short the one you like or love but only you or your close friend know. So you live the admiration dream of love. You even develop fantasy of seeing yourself in marriage set up with him or her, without their knowledge.
The question we fail to ask ourselves is, what attracted you to that person? In most cases, if you ask many people that question in their adult age, they either regret the liking or childhood love.
However, there are others that also regret not communicating their interest then.
Why am I bringing this subject? It’s because many do not understand marital love. Marital love transcends elements of beauty, because what you saw as beauty when everyone was young has elements of future body biological shifts that are ignored.
If your love or attraction was based on physical appearance or material possessions then your marriage will have challenges in future. Marriage is based on love, because in life, material can vanish and also body appearance has its own biological transformation as you age.
If you love a man because of his hair cut, just know that you will have nothing to love when he has reached an age where his hair will not even grow and is white.
If you loved your woman because of high heels, just know that it will reach a time when that lady will not be able to wear high heels because her body cannot handle it.
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So, learn to love without conditions and also adapt to transformational love. Be guided by seasons of aging because you will find yourself with a Ben 10 as women or be at a night club at awkward ages as a man because you are chasing a certain body appearance love.
Let’s love unconditionally. Love is not about how much you have, how beautiful you look today, etc. But how much you cherish each other’s company.
Easter is time to remind us as Christians that God loved us unconditionally through his Son Jesus Christ who took hold of our sins to show love to us.
Let’s also love unconditionally to our partners.
Regards; I love Jesus
